Lalla CC clears up the RVD/SABU Scandal

It was reported yesterday that professional wrestlers Rob Van Dam and Sabu were arrested for driving with the Iron Sheik's medicine in the car. RVD and Sabu are in trouble now with the Police and WWE. But Mr. Pud and I know what really happened. Mr. Pud and I were there.

It all started with this blog. Sabu never misses a post. He likes me best. He likes my attitude. He admires that I do not complain when I get hurt. He wrote me privately to say that he doesn't like his house to smell like his wrestling opponents either. He admired that I tried to trick Mr. Pud into getting lost outside. He thought that was clever. He had ideas about how I could take down Mr. Pud. I am not sure if I can do the camel clutch yet. I think I can do the Arabian Facebuster. Next time Mr. Pud comes over, I'll do it. I can wait on top of the bed or a table. He said I can use the pointy needled slicker brush instead of a steel chair. I can hold the slicker brush against my stomach with my front paws. Needles out. The when Mr. Pud walks by, I jump! Sabu thinks I have talent. He asked Jolie if he could train me for a new hardcore animal wrestling federation. Jolie was so proud!

Sabu told Rob Van Dam about training me. RVD said, "That's cool! I wanna train a cat for hardcore!" So Sabu suggested Mr. Pud. RVD and Mr. Pud are suited to one another. Both are a little, uh, burnt out. RVD thinks he can get Mr. Pud to do a Five Star Frog Splash. Maybe. If he can get Mr. Pud to get up to the top rope to jump off! RVD must be smoking the Iron Sheik's medicine if he thinks that cat will go hardcore. Blood will show good on his white fur, though. Like on Ric Flair's head. I think about that sometimes.

Sabu and RVD took us to train with them on the road. That is why we were there when the Police stopped them. I don't mind traveling with Mr. Pud like this because he is scared of Sabu. I sit on Sabu's shoulder or lap. Mr. Pud doesn't even look at me. Mr. Pud gets so scared of Sabu and me. Sometimes he vomits and poos. RVD is too nice. He understands Mr. Pud is scared. Sabu just laughs when Mr. Pud vomits. That night, Mr. Pud vomited on the floor between RVD's legs. RVD tried to clean it up and put it in an empty plastic baggy he had. Sabu and I just watched, silently. I never vomit. RVD sped the car up a bit to get to the hotel faster. That is when the Police pulled us over. They said they smelled something in the car. They did. They smelled Mr. Pud's vomit! Then they found Mr. Pud's vomit in the baggy on the floor. It had pieces of undigested grass in it. He is so disgusting. He eats grass. Probably from where dogs have peed. The Police saw the grass and arrested RVD and Sabu.

Mr. Pud and I tried to explain everything to the Police. But you know these small town cops. They got to make a big deal out of it. Nothing ever happens in their town. Boring! RVD and Sabu dropped us off at home before they went to wrestle in Philadelphia this week. I think they don't want to train us anymore. I think RVD had to lose the title to Edge last night because of Mr. Pud's vomit! I will drop the Facebuster on Mr. Pud for this!